You're a Vampire - That Sucks!: A Survival Guide
Author: Domenick Dicce
Release Date: October 13, 2015
Being bitten by and turned into a vampire isn’t the glitz and glamor that Hollywood makes it out to be. In fact, one out of five newly turned vampires will succumb to a slew of easily avoidable and common pitfalls within their first few months as a nightwalker—tempting garlic-laced Italian food, silver jewelry, and anything with an SPF below 1,000 will have to go.
As an answer to this tragic loss of undead life, “Count" Domenick Dicce has written the definitive how-to guide that just might save your pale, ice-cold skin. This helpful tome will cover everything from Vampire 101—such as hunting, feeding, and getting used to your new powers—to Vampire Graduate Studies—such as coffin selection, the ghoulish world of vampiric social hierarchy, and the universal Laws of the Vampire.
This humorous and giftable guide will be perfect for you or the vampire nut in your life, complete with illustrations throughout.
Count Domenick Dicce has learned a few things about being a vampire over the centuries and now he now is ready to share his knowledge with the recently turned. He will educate you on the truths and myths that humans have about vampires, so that you can be better prepared to survive your new life as the undead. While learning about your strengths and weakness will go a long way in keeping you from turning into a pile of dust, there are more important things than just existing. Eternity can get expensive, bring on a host of logistical challenges, and become very, very, very boring. This book will not only help you survive your new life, but enjoy it!
For those humans out there, You’re a Vampire: That Sucks! A Survival Guide is a comedic how-to book that blends fun tidbits and humor to explore the totally fictitious vampire legends. What if vampires were not monsters, but complex intellectual beings that needed a way to survive in our wonderful world? After all, they were human at some point.
You can find You’re a Vampire: That Sucks! A Survival Guide at Barnes & Noble, Amazon and your local bookstore.
(During daylight hours, I suggest sending a familiar to pick up your copy. If you don’t know what a familiar is, you better get this book quickly. Your undead future might depend on it.)
By: Domenick Dicce