Two Like Me and You Author: Chad Alan Gibbs
Genre: YA Contemporary
Publication Date: May 20, 2019
Description:
Edwin Green’s ex-girlfriend is famous. We’re talking cover-of-every-tabloid-in-the-grocery-store-line famous. She dumped Edwin one year ago on what he refers to as Black Saturday, and in hopes of winning her back, he’s spent the last twelve months trying to become famous himself. It hasn’t gone well.
But when a history class assignment pairs Edwin with Parker Haddaway, the mysterious new girl at school, she introduces him to Garland Lenox, a nursing-home-bound World War II veteran who will change Edwin’s life forever.
The three escape to France, in search of the old man’s long-lost love, and as word of their adventure spreads, they become media darlings. But when things fall apart, they also become the focus of French authorities. In a race against time, who will find love, and who will only find more heartache?
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Our conversation had drawn the attention of a passing gaggle of senior girls all wearing the same teal running shorts and last year’s prom T-shirt, “Enchanment Under the See.” Yes, the senior class misspelled half the words on their prom T-shirts, and yes, the senior class was full of morons.
“Yeah,” Fitz said, before I could say no. “Green has to interview old people with her for history class.”
“I heard she’s a lesbian,” the tallest of the three girls said between smacks of gum.
I gave Fitz a knowing look and he asked the girl, “And whom did you hear that from?”
“Buzz Booker,” the girl said, and Fitz returned my look.
“Don’t you think it’s possible someone might not want to date Buzz Booker?” Fitz asked, but the girls all shook their heads no.
“Maybe she’s asexual,” the shortest girl said.
“Yeah, like a fern,” the middle girl agreed.
“Are y’all talking about Parker Haddaway?”
Now a couple of sophomore guys had stopped to join the conversation.
“Yeah,” the shortest girl said, “She and Edwin have to interview old people about lesbians for history class.”
“That’s not exactly—”
“I don’t think she’s a lesbian,” one of the guys said. “We live down the street from her and her aunt. My mom said they’re Jewish, and Jews can’t date outside their religion because of the Holocaust and all.”
“What is Buzz Booker?” the shortest girl asked.
“Sith,” Fitz said, but only I laughed.
“You’re thinking of Muslims,” the other guy said. “Jews can date whoever they want because odds are that person was Jewish in a past life.”
“You’re thinking of Hindus,” I said.
“But she doesn’t have one of those dots on her forehead,” the tallest girl said.
“I’m not saying Parker is Hindu. Hindus believe in—never mind.”
“She’s a cop.” Jeff Parker, our school’s most notorious pothead had stopped to join the conversation.
“She’s not a cop,” Fitz said.
“Like you’d know, gay-dad,” Jeff said, then flinched and backed away when Fitz halfheartedly karate chopped in his direction. Shaken, Jeff the stoner continued, “These cops try and pass themselves off as students but they’re easy to spot. She says she’s seventeen, but that girl is twenty-two, at least.”
“Makes sense,” the tallest girl said. “I heard she hooks up with that Todd dude who sells iPhone cases in the mall, and he’s like twenty-nine. If she were really seventeen they’d arrest him.”
“I thought she was a lesbian,” I said.
“And lesbians don’t want free iPhone cases?” the middle girl shot back.
“Exactly,” Jeff said. “And why do you think she misses so much school and never gets in trouble? It’s because she’s in meetings down at the precinct.”
“So has she tried to buy drugs from you?” I asked.
“I don’t sell drugs,” Jeff said with a scowl, then conceded, “but no, she hasn’t. I tried to talk to her once in the hall and she stared at me until I walked away.”
“Me too,” the shortest girl said.
Then they all stood there silent for a moment, having exhausted J. P. Hornby’s second favorite topic of gossip, before turning to their favorite.
“So Edwin,” the tallest girl finally said, “have you talked to Sadie lately?”
Everyone turned their attention to me, and I was about to tell them to go play in traffic, but Coach Cowden bellowed from his office window, “This isn’t social hour, ladies, get moving!”
“Come on,” I said to Fitz, and we resumed our slow orbit around the track, leaving the rest of them to discuss me and the dating practices of reincarnated Jewish lesbian narcs.
Chad Alan Gibbs lives in Alabama with his wife, two sons, two dogs, and an embarrassingly large collection of Star Wars action figures. Two Like Me and You is his first novel.
Thanks for being on the tour! :)
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