Welcome to my stop on the blog tour for Jeff Strand's newest release, I Have a Bad Feeling About This! Today I have a great guest post by Jeff to share with you - I hope you enjoy it!
I Have a Bad Feeling About This
Author: Jeff Strand
Genre: YA Humor/Adventure
Release Date: March 1, 2014
Publisher: Sourcebooks Fire
Description:
Wilderness Survival Tip #1Drinking your own sweat will not save your life. Somebody might have told you that, but they were trying to find out if you'd really do it.
Henry Lambert would rather play video games than spend time in the great outdoors--but that doesn't make him a wuss. Skinny nerd? Fine. But wuss is a little harsh. Sadly, his dad doesn't agree. Which is why Henry is being shipped off to Strongwoods Survival Camp.
Strongwoods isn't exactly as advertised. It looks like the victim of a zombie apocalypse, the "camp director" is a psycho drill sergeant, and Henry's sure he saw a sign written in blood...
Wilderness Survival Tip #2
In case of an avalanche, don't despair. You're doomed, but that's a wicked cool death.
Wilderness Survival Tip #3
If you're relying on this book for actual survival tips, you're dead already.
Praise for I Have a Bad Feeling About This:
“In
this gleefully... wickedly funny adventure, Strand balances action with
laugh-out-loud humor, making this a thoroughly entertaining
not-quite-coming-of-age tale.” – Publishers Weekly
“Fans of Strand's other novels of outrageous circumstance...will not be disappointed. A delightfully ludicrous read.” -- School Library Journal
ME: Hi, Leah! How are you doing on this fine, sunshiny day? Isn't the world a wonderful place to live? Say, did you have a chance to review those book ideas Daphne sent you?
[Leah growls.]
ME: Sounds like somebody is Ms. Grumpypants today! Let's turn that frown upside-down! [I'm silent for a moment.] Wow, it didn't occur to me until this very moment that "frown" and "upside-down" rhymed. I guess that's why they created the saying.
[Leah growls some more.]
ME: C'mon, turn that scowl upside-down! Oh, yeah, "frown" definitely works better. So did you look at them?
LEAH: Yes.
ME: And...?
LEAH: Do you really want your next book to be Dopey McGee Drinks Some Water?
ME: Sure. Why not? Water is important, and Dopey McGee is one of the funniest names I've ever invented.
LEAH: Nobody wants to read about some guy drinking water.
ME: That's not the only thing he'd be doing! He'd do all kinds of stuff. Think outside the box. Twilight doesn't just take place at twilight, you know.
LEAH: Pass.
ME: What about the next one?
LEAH: Dopey McGee Eats Somebody's Arm?
ME: Yeah!
LEAH: I'm not sure the marketing department would go for it.
ME: Marketing department, marketing department. Wait, that didn't sound disdainful enough. Let me replace the second "m" with a "sh." Marketing department, sharketing department. Still
not right. I'll keep the second "m" and add a "sh" to it. Marketing department, shmarketing department. Much better.
LEAH: Nobody wants to read that.
ME: I know this one guy who does.
LEAH: No, you don't.
ME: If I owned a book called Dopey McGee Eats Somebody's Arm, I'd read it until the pages fell out. It's about my favorite thing in the world!
LEAH: Eating arms?
ME: No. Reading about people eating arms. I'm not a monster.
LEAH: I'm not saying that this is the worst book idea I've ever heard--
ME: Woo-hoo!
LEAH: --but it's pretty awful.
ME: I respectfully disagree, but whatever. I've got this other idea about an Orwellian future where your every move is monitored by Big Brother.
LEAH: You mean exactly like 1984?
ME: Well, no, 1984 would be 30 years in the past. I wasn't proposing a book about Rubik's Cubes.
LEAH: I meant exactly like the novel 1984, written by George Orwell.
ME: Never heard of it.
LEAH: You described it as an "Orwellian" future.
ME: Is that where that term came from? I thought it came from...actually, I never gave much thought to where it came from. I was just always impressed that I used terms like "Orwellian." How about an Orvillian future where everybody likes popcorn?
[Leah weeps for a few minutes.]
ME: You're the editor. What book do you want?
LEAH: How about one called I Have A Bad Feeling About This, which is about some geeky kids who go to survival camp, and then their counselor gets killed by gangsters and the kids have to use their survival skills for real?
ME: Pass.
LEAH: Rowling already agreed to write the book. You just have to put your name on it.
ME: I dunno. When I wrote the Harry Potter books for her, she changed the ending so that Hermione ended up with Ron instead of Harry. Ooooh, I was so mad!
LEAH: I thought you were over that.
ME: I was. I'm back on it. Now I'm over it again. So...survival camp, huh? Can the cover have somebody's eye looking through a knothole? You know I loves me some covers with people's eyes looking through knotholes.
LEAH: Sure.
ME: Thanks! I think this was a very productive meeting. Back to my castle in the Bahamas to count my gold! Seeya!
[Note to Gertrude: Could you help JoAnne help Daphne come up with a clever ending to this guest blog? Readers of A Dream Within A Dream won't go for "Seeya!" as the closing line. Maybe something about yogurt. Or not. I trust you. Thanks! --J.]
Jeff - Thanks for stopping by the blog today and explaining the truth behind the origins of your newest book! (By the way, I totally agree with you about Hermione and Harry...)
Author Links:
Jeffstrand.com
http://www.twitter.com/jeffstrand
Every word of that is true!
ReplyDeleteI've gone ahead and written the sequel to Dopey McGee Drinks Some Water.
ReplyDeleteReady?
Dopey McGee Urinates.
Incredibly, there's never been a NYT Bestseller with "Urinates" in the title, which is an obvious case of discrimination.
Also, I'm drunk.
Nice post, Jeff. What a coincidence--I'm a writer, too, so I'll fly *my* private jet and meet you at your castle in the Bahamas.
ReplyDelete